Chapter 1
I was born on October 13, 1998, and with that, I was already disappointing the mother who gave birth to me, and the father was much worse. My parents were poor, and having me was already going to cost them even more. My mother’s name was Juno Tanaka, she would often leave the room if my father got too upset with me. She refused to defend me when he had put his hands over me multiple times. Although, at least she was nice enough to feed me and raise me. The man I call my “father” is Yamato Miira, and I hated him with a great passion. He has anger issues and often has horrible tempers. While I was growing up, he would always let me know that he would be happier if I was born as a boy. And because I was a girl, he did not bother to take me to school, since I would end up serving my husband in the future. He would remind me every day, tormenting me every night. He would always get worse if I found him with a bottle of alcohol in his hand.Because I was always so scared of him, my fear would make my hands shake, making me more clumsy when I was 9 years of age. Every time I would spill something, shatter a glass, or drop a plate, he would yell at me while his hands reached for the belts of his pants. I cried every night, wondering what I had done wrong.
“Sakura!”“Y-Yes Sir?”That was right, he hated when I would address him as “dad” or “father”, he was too ashamed of me.I saw his hand reach into his pants pocket and took a handful of Yen, the Japanese currency. He threw the handful at me, I saw the bills rain down onto the floor. In fear I desperately fell to my knees on the floor and tried to pick up everything, some bills would slip from my hands. He heavily sighed and rolled his eyes.
“ This child— I’m hungry, go buy some rice crackers. Now!”He raised his voice as he stood up, once again proving who the man of the house is. I shoved the money into the pockets of my kimono and I left the house, speed-walking. I would always try to hurry in doing my father’s favors because I know that he would get upset if I took long. I remember a few times when I would take a long line because the line was very long, or because there was always some commotion with thieves.
I remember that if I take long, my father would forcefully grab me with one hand while he undid his belt with his other. He would press me facing down against the floor or the table, whichever was closer, and pull my attire down where my back was visible. His hand was on my neck so that my body would not move, his other hand held his belt, high in the air, and came down with a strong force on my back. Constantly, he would whip my back with his belt, all while yelling embarrassing insults. He has been leaving scars and marks on my back since I was 7. That was my only punishment, mercy would not be an option for me.I felt so afraid, yet hateful for him
I remember returning home with the bag of rice cakes in my hand. When I approached my front door, I placed my hand on the doorknob and twisted the door open. I saw my father sitting on the couch, and my mother was on the floor with a rag in her hand, cleaning whatever spill he had caused. I tripped over my feet and tumbled down on the floor as I entered. I watched in horror how my hand let go of the bag, and a few of the rice cakes came out on the floor. My father stood with his usual scary facial expression, and my mother would hurry into their bedroom to avoid the sight of what my father would unleash. Tears would form in my eyes as I got onto my knees and bowed, with my head touching the dirty floor, in apology.
“Father- Sir! I-I’m so sorry! I-It was an accident!” I exclaimed, scared for my life once again. He laughed as he approached me, and stood my body by putting his hand on my hair, and pulling it upward. I could smell alcohol coming from his breath as he lifted me to my feet, before bending me onto the coffee table, just a few feet in front of where he was previously sitting. I struggled, but he had both of my hands against my back.
“You only had one job, and you still managed to screw up like you always do!” He yells, and I heard his free hand unbuckling his belt. “You stupid child, when will you ever learn?!”
While I struggled, I panicked and started kicking my feet. Too much movement had caused my father to move as well, struggling to keep me still. I remember that he was about to say something to me when I accidentally kicked his crotch. He instinctively pulled away and fell to his knees as his hands grabbed onto his area. I turned my head to him, at the door, and I looked at my hands resting on the coffee table. I looked at the door once more, and without thinking twice, I made a run for it.
“Hey! Come back you piece of shit!” I heard him yell behind me, but I did not dare to look behind my shoulder. I kept running without even giving myself a break, and I did not care that my lungs felt like they were going to explode.
I realized that I was already far away from the small area where I lived and that I ran for so long that the sun seemed to start to hide away in the mountains. It looked like I was standing near a rice field, and I tried looking around to see any lights that may lead me somewhere. I saw the lights glow over the tall trees, and I followed the source of light to see where I will be. I was unsure of where I was heading, but for me, it was better than being just in the middle of nowhere in the dark. I think it took me about 30 minutes to arrive, and I thought that the light was coming from a wealthy family with a big house. The trees were far behind me, and as it turns out, I walked into a city. My eyes took a while to adjust, I had never seen something so bright before, and I thought it was beautiful. Every lady wore a beautiful kimono and the men that accompanied them would hear a haori over their attire. During that time, I was only wearing an old, slightly torn, dirty kimono.
I approached a man, and I tugged his sleeve to get his attention.
“E-Excuse me, Sir, what is this place?” I asked timidly. The man slightly bent his knees to match my height.
“You’re in the city of Tokyo. Didn’t your parents tell you? Are you maybe lost?” He asks, and I shook my head in response.
“N-No, I was just looking around... T-Thank you Sir,” I bowed down in thanks, and I walked away.
I walked for a little bit more, trying to explore more of this amazing place. But over time, I was growing exhausted. I saw a dark alleyway, and I turned to walk there. I grabbed a box and tugged it toward me before sitting on it, with my back against the wall. I yawned and lay down on my side. I was looking at nothing but darkness. It may sound a bit odd, but it was the best sleep that I ever had.
I felt free.